The First Message

Other than your profile and your photos, your first message is your first impression.

Gentlemen, a public service announcement if you will:

from what I’ve experienced first hand AND heard from friends, women get bombarded with messages on dating sites. It pays to take some time to craft something witty and thoughtful.

This also means the ladies are less likely to message you first. So if they do contact you first, keep these points in mind for your response as well.

1. Don’t be lazy. Don’t copy and paste. First of all it’s pretty obvious. Secondly, you get about as much effort back as you put in.

2. Read their profile, put in the time, compliment a feature or specific photo. Be funny, witty, or charming. (or all of the above if you’re perfect)

3. Don’t propose in the first message. This is both literal and figurative.


 

A Literal Proposal


 

A Figurative Proposal  #nopressure!!

A Figurative Proposal
#nopressure!!


 

4. Spelling and grammar count.

5. Make me laugh if that’s something you’re good at.

6. Ask a question. Give me something to go with other than ‘how are you?’ Something that requires a little more thought and maybe says a little more about a person. This shows that you would like to get to know me better. Riiiight?

For instance, a potential suitor once asked me the top 3 places I’d like to visit. This may seem a little generic but I think it’s kind of telling of the person you are. If they say something like a Caribbean resort and you’re more of an adventure traveller who would rather go ziplining in Costa Rica than sit at a pool, then maybe you’re not compatible.

7. If you just say ‘hey’ or ‘how are you?’ you’re not likely to get a response 99.9% of the time. The other 0.01% of the time is if you are super good looking and we are crossing our fingers that maybe you are a good conversationalist but were just out of witty things to say at that moment.

8. No matter how funny or cute your message is, if I check out your profile and am not attracted, I’m not likely going to reply. Thems the brakes.

Now go message that gorgeous gal you’ve been eyeing!

**Most of these suggestions are my personal preference as well as feedback from friends so take it all with a grain of salt (and maybe a shot of tequila ’cause it’s Friday!)

– A

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