A Lesson in Digital Dating

I had my second phone conversation with The Gentleman last night. It wasn’t a spontaneous ‘I want to hear your voice’ talk like the first one. (though it was really nice to hear his voice again) It was more of a ‘we need to talk about something we’ve been texting about’ talk.

I won’t go into details, ’cause this could be about anything really. As we are getting to know each other while on opposite sides of the country, things about our pasts have come up in conversation. And something came up yesterday that bothered me. My heart sank and I jumped to conclusions before I knew the whole story. (My usual MO)

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Don’t do that. Don’t assume. Ask.

We agreed to talk over the phone that evening.

How to talk on the telephone 3

I spoke to a friend beforehand who helped me sort out my feelings and pinpoint exactly what I needed to know in order to make a fair judgment on the situation.

One great piece of advice she gave me is to really listen to my gut when he answered my questions. Do I get that sinking feeling? Does it seem like he’s making excuses?

And so, like grown-ups (whaaat?!) we had the conversation. And (while being well aware of the fact that he could be saying what he thinks I want to hear) hearing the whole story made me feel infinitely better and I really had nothing to worry about in the first place.

So there you go. Lesson learned. (this time) In a generation of tech-savvy daters, things can get lost (and/or misinterpreted) in translation. Sometimes all it really takes is an old school phone call.

Girl talking on the telephone

– A

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